It’s finally the New Year. I honestly think everyone was waiting for this moment. The moment to declare a change in our lives for the better. For me 2009 was not horrible but it was truly a stepping stone, a lesson learned, shit basically growing pains.
I’m not making any New Year’s Resolutions. I think it’s pointless. If I want to change then I will. I don’t need a new year to declare that I’m going to change. We all know that people who have New Year’s Resolutions only stick to it for about two months and its back to the old ways.
I will continue new habits that I have already set in place before the new year. (1) Reading my bible daily – maybe even keeping a journal of what I have read so that I better understand the word (2) Believing in myself – if I don’t love/believe in myself then no one else will (3) Understanding how blessed I am and not taking that for granted.
So much as happen in the last year that I cannot even started to make a list or explain how I have learned from that experience.
I do want to take a moment and speak on something.
This simple word: SINGLE
My favorite topic lol but seriously I’m single and I have no problem with that. I can’t change it at this moment so I’m going to embrace it. I feel like God is moving things in my life. I‘m not the same person I was yesterday, last week, or last year. So maybe its not time for me to settle down and be serious with that significant other. Now, don’t get me wrong the company will be welcome. I’m stepping out on faith and understanding that when the TIME is RIGHT then GOD will PLACE that SPECIAL someone in MY life. UNTIL then I won’t complain. I’m SINGLE and ready to MINGLE [[Sorry for the caps on certain words but I wanted them to stand out]]
So my goal for this year… to dedicate this blog to my single life. I will document any “INTERESTING” events/moments/conversations. My goal is to show the world that a 20s something, African American, college educated, independent, single, well rounded women can have a healthy single life in 2010. I feel by doing this I will be able to keep track on how I’m growing as a women.
I promise to blog anything and everything… this will truly be my personal journey.
*Disclosure: Names will be change for the sake of other’s reputation/personal life [[just in case they read the blog]]
I’m excited….hope you ready for the ride of your life…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A person can’t regret something that once made them happy. The weeks that I spent with *Calvin* were fun, interesting, and exciting. Those moments we shared were also confusing, nerve wrecking, and excruciating. I’m glad that I decided to embark on that journey again. I always told myself that if we were meant to be then we would. God gave us a second chance to find love with one another but it didn’t work so I can’t focus on it anymore.
He is my first love but not my true love.
This year we will not be doing the Calvin & Quita dance… not this year or any other years to come. I won’t let him use me to scapegoat to his relationship. We can’t be friends, we can’t be friends, and we can’t be anything but cordial to each other. No communication… WHATSOEVER.
FYI: He had left some things at my apartment the last time he visit [[toothbrush, toothpaste, his frat dog chain, glasses, and basketball shorts. I texted him on NYE and told him I wanted to give him his stuff and if he didn’t texted back by the time I left town then I will throw it away. I really don’t want to throw away his fraternity dog chain but everything else will get trash.
I think he used me… not [[just]] for sex but something to do. It’s not like I haven’t done that before… my mistake lead me to a one year causal relationship with *Lamar*. That’s a whole different story. With *Calvin* it was always that physical, sexual, erotic chemistry. Even when I didn’t want to have sex [[mentally]] but body convince my conscience other wise.
I hope this is the only time I have to mention *Calvin* in my blog. I promise to myself not to contact him. I can’t love someone else if he still has my heart. This reminds me of a song by Keyshia Cole “Got to Get My Heart Back” [[its on her Just Like You album]]
To the blog world… why is it that it is always that one person you can’t say “no” to? Why is that I feel more vulnerable with him totally clothed then I do with someone else naked?
When I’m with him I think of years of marriage like my grandparents, kids, the yellow house with the white pricked fence, and the family dog,
If someone/anyone can answer that question then you solve the mystery on love.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m not a big rap fan… I mostly listen to R & B or anything that’s on the radio but for some reason I download Young Cash Money album. I have already listened to this a couple of times while getting ready in the morning.
I just wanted to see if it was about anything…
Honestly, I love Drake so I wanted to hear more of him
Well it’s time for bed… another day at my job.
Until next time….
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Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year... New Bullshit...
It’s finally the New Year. I honestly think everyone was waiting for this moment. The moment to declare a change in our lives for the better. For me 2009 was not horrible but it was truly a stepping stone, a lesson learned, shit basically growing pains.
I’m not making any New Year’s Resolutions. I think it’s pointless. If I want to change then I will. I don’t need a new year to declare that I’m going to change. We all know that people who have New Year’s Resolutions only stick to it for about two months and its back to the old ways.
I will continue new habits that I have already set in place before the new year. (1) Reading my bible daily – maybe even keeping a journal of what I have read so that I better understand the word (2) Believing in myself – if I don’t love/believe in myself then no one else will (3) Understanding how blessed I am and not taking that for granted.
So much as happen in the last year that I cannot even started to make a list or explain how I have learned from that experience.
I do want to take a moment and speak on something.
This simple word: SINGLE
My favorite topic lol but seriously I’m single and I have no problem with that. I can’t change it at this moment so I’m going to embrace it. I feel like God is moving things in my life. I‘m not the same person I was yesterday, last week, or last year. So maybe its not time for me to settle down and be serious with that significant other. Now, don’t get me wrong the company will be welcome. I’m stepping out on faith and understanding that when the TIME is RIGHT then GOD will PLACE that SPECIAL someone in MY life. UNTIL then I won’t complain. I’m SINGLE and ready to MINGLE [[Sorry for the caps on certain words but I wanted them to stand out]]
So my goal for this year… to dedicate this blog to my single life. I will document any “INTERESTING” events/moments/conversations. My goal is to show the world that a 20s something, African American, college educated, independent, single, well rounded women can have a healthy single life in 2010. I feel by doing this I will be able to keep track on how I’m growing as a women.
I promise to blog anything and everything… this will truly be my personal journey.
*Disclosure: Names will be change for the sake of other’s reputation/personal life [[just in case they read the blog]]
I’m excited….hope you ready for the ride of your life…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A person can’t regret something that once made them happy. The weeks that I spent with *Calvin* were fun, interesting, and exciting. Those moments we shared were also confusing, nerve wrecking, and excruciating. I’m glad that I decided to embark on that journey again. I always told myself that if we were meant to be then we would. God gave us a second chance to find love with one another but it didn’t work so I can’t focus on it anymore.
He is my first love but not my true love.
This year we will not be doing the Calvin & Quita dance… not this year or any other years to come. I won’t let him use me to scapegoat to his relationship. We can’t be friends, we can’t be friends, and we can’t be anything but cordial to each other. No communication… WHATSOEVER.
FYI: He had left some things at my apartment the last time he visit [[toothbrush, toothpaste, his frat dog chain, glasses, and basketball shorts. I texted him on NYE and told him I wanted to give him his stuff and if he didn’t texted back by the time I left town then I will throw it away. I really don’t want to throw away his fraternity dog chain but everything else will get trash.
I think he used me… not [[just]] for sex but something to do. It’s not like I haven’t done that before… my mistake lead me to a one year causal relationship with *Lamar*. That’s a whole different story. With *Calvin* it was always that physical, sexual, erotic chemistry. Even when I didn’t want to have sex [[mentally]] but body convince my conscience other wise.
I hope this is the only time I have to mention *Calvin* in my blog. I promise to myself not to contact him. I can’t love someone else if he still has my heart. This reminds me of a song by Keyshia Cole “Got to Get My Heart Back” [[its on her Just Like You album]]
To the blog world… why is it that it is always that one person you can’t say “no” to? Why is that I feel more vulnerable with him totally clothed then I do with someone else naked?
When I’m with him I think of years of marriage like my grandparents, kids, the yellow house with the white pricked fence, and the family dog,
If someone/anyone can answer that question then you solve the mystery on love.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m not a big rap fan… I mostly listen to R & B or anything that’s on the radio but for some reason I download Young Cash Money album. I have already listened to this a couple of times while getting ready in the morning.
I just wanted to see if it was about anything…
Honestly, I love Drake so I wanted to hear more of him
Well it’s time for bed… another day at my job.
Until next time….
I’m not making any New Year’s Resolutions. I think it’s pointless. If I want to change then I will. I don’t need a new year to declare that I’m going to change. We all know that people who have New Year’s Resolutions only stick to it for about two months and its back to the old ways.
I will continue new habits that I have already set in place before the new year. (1) Reading my bible daily – maybe even keeping a journal of what I have read so that I better understand the word (2) Believing in myself – if I don’t love/believe in myself then no one else will (3) Understanding how blessed I am and not taking that for granted.
So much as happen in the last year that I cannot even started to make a list or explain how I have learned from that experience.
I do want to take a moment and speak on something.
This simple word: SINGLE
My favorite topic lol but seriously I’m single and I have no problem with that. I can’t change it at this moment so I’m going to embrace it. I feel like God is moving things in my life. I‘m not the same person I was yesterday, last week, or last year. So maybe its not time for me to settle down and be serious with that significant other. Now, don’t get me wrong the company will be welcome. I’m stepping out on faith and understanding that when the TIME is RIGHT then GOD will PLACE that SPECIAL someone in MY life. UNTIL then I won’t complain. I’m SINGLE and ready to MINGLE [[Sorry for the caps on certain words but I wanted them to stand out]]
So my goal for this year… to dedicate this blog to my single life. I will document any “INTERESTING” events/moments/conversations. My goal is to show the world that a 20s something, African American, college educated, independent, single, well rounded women can have a healthy single life in 2010. I feel by doing this I will be able to keep track on how I’m growing as a women.
I promise to blog anything and everything… this will truly be my personal journey.
*Disclosure: Names will be change for the sake of other’s reputation/personal life [[just in case they read the blog]]
I’m excited….hope you ready for the ride of your life…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A person can’t regret something that once made them happy. The weeks that I spent with *Calvin* were fun, interesting, and exciting. Those moments we shared were also confusing, nerve wrecking, and excruciating. I’m glad that I decided to embark on that journey again. I always told myself that if we were meant to be then we would. God gave us a second chance to find love with one another but it didn’t work so I can’t focus on it anymore.
He is my first love but not my true love.
This year we will not be doing the Calvin & Quita dance… not this year or any other years to come. I won’t let him use me to scapegoat to his relationship. We can’t be friends, we can’t be friends, and we can’t be anything but cordial to each other. No communication… WHATSOEVER.
FYI: He had left some things at my apartment the last time he visit [[toothbrush, toothpaste, his frat dog chain, glasses, and basketball shorts. I texted him on NYE and told him I wanted to give him his stuff and if he didn’t texted back by the time I left town then I will throw it away. I really don’t want to throw away his fraternity dog chain but everything else will get trash.
I think he used me… not [[just]] for sex but something to do. It’s not like I haven’t done that before… my mistake lead me to a one year causal relationship with *Lamar*. That’s a whole different story. With *Calvin* it was always that physical, sexual, erotic chemistry. Even when I didn’t want to have sex [[mentally]] but body convince my conscience other wise.
I hope this is the only time I have to mention *Calvin* in my blog. I promise to myself not to contact him. I can’t love someone else if he still has my heart. This reminds me of a song by Keyshia Cole “Got to Get My Heart Back” [[its on her Just Like You album]]
To the blog world… why is it that it is always that one person you can’t say “no” to? Why is that I feel more vulnerable with him totally clothed then I do with someone else naked?
When I’m with him I think of years of marriage like my grandparents, kids, the yellow house with the white pricked fence, and the family dog,
If someone/anyone can answer that question then you solve the mystery on love.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m not a big rap fan… I mostly listen to R & B or anything that’s on the radio but for some reason I download Young Cash Money album. I have already listened to this a couple of times while getting ready in the morning.
I just wanted to see if it was about anything…
Honestly, I love Drake so I wanted to hear more of him
Well it’s time for bed… another day at my job.
Until next time….
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